The Suicide Reference: Part 3 – Etiquette

Knowing why you want to kill yourself and how to do it doesn’t give you the liberty to streak yourself to death on the streets. Sure you may be leaving this world forever and don’t really care about what others think anymore, but for the courtesy of others, you must follow some rules. You are supposed to leave a legacy behind, not poop. You must be considerate of others and make sure that they do not feel the slightest inconvinience from your final acts. If you want your death to cause a strong impact to people and society as a whole you must make sure to follow these rules carefully, or else nobody will give a shit. You should try your best to do this right or else die trying. So anyway, here are the 10 Rules of Suicide:

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The Suicide Reference: Part 2 – Methods

By now you’ve figured out exactly why you dont want to hang around in life anymore (if not, see Part 1). You’ve made up your mind and nothing and nobody can change it. There you go then. It’s almost time. But wait! Don’t pull that trigger yet! There’s much to learn and understand about how exactly you want to bring about your self demise.

Suicide is not just about dying, it’s about killing yourself. Once you’ve decided that you are going to undertake this final task, there’s no use of fading away in some cold little hospital with tubes sticking into your nose. You want to do something to yourself which you will not regret later on (not that you could anyway).

Maybe you want to take efforts in making this moment memorable, or maybe you want it to be quick. Maybe you’d like to invest in something that will improve your experience or maybe you want to save the money for someone else. Whatever your criterias are, this article will help you figure out which method you need to choose. Again, this is not an exhaustive list by any means, but it’s a good start to a strain of thought. Methods are rated out of 10 for each of the following:

  1. Feasibility. Is the method easily doable? Is it straightforward or is there a learning curve involved? Does the method fit in your budget or do you have to invest time and money into this?
  2. Style. How cool is it? Does it have the glamour that you’ve always wanted? Would it attract sufficient media attention or would it just be the talk of the local bar?
  3. Efficiency. Does it wipe you out in one go? Are there chances that the method might fail and leave you scarred or limp for life (gee not that again)? Will it incorporate in generating a lack of intrest for future attempts of this event?
  4. Pain. Does it hurt bad? Or is it quick and harmless? Choosing a method that is low on pain might compromise the Style factor, but here’s being considerate to the weak-hearted.
  5. Impact. Will it have a long lasting impact on those who care (if any)? What will be the reaction of the next person who finds your corpse?

Alright, so here goes. In no particular order, some Methods of Self Demise:

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The Suicide Reference: Part 1 – Motivations

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of. – Blaise Pascal

True, that. But the heart also has a bunch of arteries and veins connected to it which you know not of, and frankly, you’d now like it to cease functioning. But don’t rush, haste makes waste and waste is the last thing you want on your mind right now. You want to do this right. You want to make this big. You want to make this a memorable event. Well then, you need to start slow.

Back to the quote above then. Every popular suicide in history has had a neat reason behind it. You don’t want to take the plunge without knowing why you’re doing it. Sure you might want to keep it a secret to stir up some intresting gossip down in the morgue but you at least need to be aware of it yourself. Sometimes its not one reason but an aggregate of factors that have led you to taking up this activity. You need to think of each and every one of them before you pull the trigger. There might be one or two of them in there that might change your mind about choosing the method of self-demise.

For your reference, here is a List of the popular reasons for killing yourself (yup, just ran out of euphemisms). By no means is this list exhaustive so feel free to add your own (Post a comment with suggestions).

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The Suicide Reference: Introduction

So you’ve had a bad day, month, year, or life. Or maybe some lunatic is going to chop your limbs off next week. Or maybe you’ve been dared. Whatever your reason is, you’ve decided that it’s time you leave this wretched place because you feel Life is a sexually transmitted disease. Sure that’s all fine and all, but for the sake of yourself, your family, and society as a whole, please, DO IT RIGHT. Nothing is worse than a hasty, ill-planned, haphazard, last-minute suicide. This series of articles will help you organize and plan the last major event of your life in such a way that both you and your family will have a pleasant experience. The series is comprised of the following parts:

  1. Motivation. The driving force behind your decision to take the leap makes a huge difference to the outcome of the event.
  2. Methods. The manner of self demise defines your identity, or the lack thereof. You don’t want to fade away quietly in a boring manner. Besides, a subtle suicide is rather unentertaining and you have the right to have fun all the way to the end.
  3. Etiquette. You have to be considerate to your neighbours, family and society. You don’t want to cause trouble or inconvinience to others just because you had a bad day. There are certain standard rules to be followed.
  4. Suicide Notes. Writing a good note can make all the difference. Don’t you want your final message to be perfect?
  5. Final Thoughts. Your will. Your last wish. Your final words.Your funeral. Your obituary. Your destination (Heaven, Hell, Re-incarnation). Don’t forget a thing before you leave.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this series are purely for entertainment, and the author is not responsible for any inconvinience caused whether you follow the guidance or not. If you were instead looking for reasons to continue living, see Cheese. Or else if you were looking for an answer to life, the universe and everything, then it’s simple: 42.

How the Internet works

Yes we are all used to seeing pages appear in front of our eyes in a flash (or two) at the press of a button, or at the type of a URL. Many of us also know that these flashy pages have got something to do with HTML or CSS or JavaScript or something like that. Sure, but these are part of programming how the browser will render the page (how the site will look). But how does this page reach your computer in the first place? Where does it come from? What happens when you type in a URL in the address bar? How does the browser know where to get the page from? What exactly happens? What in the world is the internet?

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